On January 26th, 2014, Long Winters frontman John Roderick live-tweeted the 2014 Grammy Awards for the Talkhouse. Some notables that year: Macklemore and Ryan Lewis; Daft Punk; Kendrick Lamar with Imagine Dragons; Nine Inch Nails with Queens of the Stone Age and Dave Grohl; Lorde; and Pharrell’s hat. Here’s how it went down.
4:30 PM
I’m @johnroderick watching @thegrammys pre-show red carpet chat for @the_talkhouse and getting in the music/celeb mindset [JR]
4:40 PM
I’m really digging Krist Novoselic’s riverboat gambler costume #grammys [JR]
4:43 PM
Steven Tyler looks like he boarded the ship by climbing up the anchor chain #grammys [JR]
4:47 PM
Smokey Robinson standing next to Jared Leto is maybe the best visual metaphor of #grammys red carpet culture-equalization [JR]
4:50 PM
Mackle and Ryan Lewis are great exponents of Pacific NW ironic embrace of celeb culture. They own it, but they mock it #grammys [JR]
4:52 PM
Lars Ulrich really embracing the “peeled out of a lint-trap and dipped in Elmer’s glue” look #grammys [JR]
5:00 PM
Are the #grammys really using a Billy Squier jam in one their promo vids? That earns big cred points with me [JR]
5:06 PM
The word “epic” should be reserved for cavalry charges, but the #grammys hosts feel differently. Daft Punk ARE pretty epic, I guess [JR]
5:09 PM
Spoiler alert! Jay Z and Beyoncé open the show with an EPIC number, showering the audience with rubies from a fire hose #grammys [JR]
5:18 PM
Best New Artist: Mackle and Ryan Lewis. The #grammys have shunned NW indie rock, but NW indie rap conquers all [JR]
5:25 PM
Lorde seems really intense, but I guess being a teen in Middle Earth is no picnic #grammys [JR]
5:29 PM
Because I’m on the west coast I’m trying to “live-stream” the #grammys but the actual program is blocked. So I’m really just guessing [JR]
5:31 PM
The #Grammys APP is broadcasting some sort of companion program. The hosts keep saying “Man, the show is really happening!” #thanks [JR]
5:34 PM
Daft Punk just won, which is fully EPIC #grammys [JR]
5:35 PM
I just found the program on @Ustream which is maybe illegal or unethical. I can’t tell what the rules are any #grammys [JR]
5:39 PM
Katy Perry did a Spinal Tap set piece as imagined by 80’s Heart, with music by the Generic Overblown Pop (GOP) algorithm #grammys [JR]
5:51 PM
It’s not just an “old media” problem, it’s that “new media” is a thousand streams of garbage. The #grammys are a point of intersection [JR]
5:55 PM
I just watched the #grammys get taken down from @Ustream in front of my eyes. So excited, like I’m bootlegging contraband! [JR]
6:02 PM
The difficulty I’m having watching the #grammys in real time is hilarious to me. Our nation’s nuclear secrets are less well guarded [JR]
6:04 PM
The Chinese blot out references to Falun Gong on the web but #grammys are worried we’ll get an advance glimpse of John Legend’s dress. [JR]
6:06 PM
Fortunately I feel like I’ve heard every John Legend song already, in the sense that their melodies are all notes organized randomly. [JR]
6:25 PM
The lesson of this #grammys debacle is to go fully #darkweb all the time. IP blockers on everything. The mainstream is garbage. [JR]
6:29 PM
Thanks to @MikeLeePearl I’m watching the #grammys now on http://ustvnow.com and it appears to be working. What a shitshow. [JR]
6:32 PM
Black Sabbath won the #grammy for Best Metal performance? Best metal in their hip replacements, maybe. [JR]
6:35 PM
Ringo Starr is renowned for giving his live performances the whole 40%! #grammys [JR]
6:37 PM
Jamie Foxx wins my #grammy nod for worst attempt at a British accent by a guy making Beyoncé uncomfortable.[JR]
6:49 PM
Kendrick Lamar and the Magic Dragons are a textbook case of eight guys sounding like two. Plus they stole The Hives’ suits. #grammys [JR]
6:51 PM
This Kendrick Lamar/Magic Dragons thing has an anarchic energy at least, without actually being entertaining or good. #grammys [JR]
6:56 PM
Kacey Musgraves exemplifies Nashville’s preference for punning wordplay over poetic metaphor. The meaning is never masked. #grammys [JR]
6:57 PM
The band in white suits is called Imagine Dragons, not Magic Dragons, which means Magic Dragons is STILL AVAILABLE! #grammys [JR]
7:04 PM
Oh, Sir Paul, how can you still so desperately crave approval? We have given you all the approval we have to give! #grammys [JR]
7:06 PM
Are Yoko and Sean Lennon wearing matching outfits? That’s so #SEXY #grammys [JR]
7:08 PM
Wait, Lana Del Ray is a guy? I don’t want to be gender/cis normative but that’s a Bettie Page impersonator’s name. #grammys [JR]
7:13 PM
The #grammys are really excited about social networking! Hashtag trying too hard, hashtag unseemly, hashtag gross, hashtag desperate. [JR]
7:17 PM
Jeremy Renner is always wearing that grey leather, like someone hit him with a Member’s Only bazooka. #grammys [JR]
7:21 PM
Merle Haggard, Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson look like albino Ents having an Entmoot. #grammys [JR]
7:23 PM
Who is Zac Brown and why does he think it’s ok to wear a watchcap at a tuxedo event? I don’t care how bald you are. #grammys [JR]
7:28 PM
Here comes Daft Punk with Stevie Wonder? Plus Nile Rogers?!? And Pharrell Williams’ big fedora? But Pharrell can’t sing. #grammys [JR]
7:30 PM
I just pictured a time-traveller from 1978 watching this #grammys and thinking “They must have terrible drugs in the future.” [JR]
7:32 PM
Stevie Wonder and Nile Rogers must owe the Mafia some serious gambling debts. [JR] #grammys
7:40 PM
Carole King can transcend almost any Showbiz malarkey with her superior normalcy. She’s the realest. #grammys [JR]
7:45 PM
Lorde DID have the song of the year with that track. Culture reverberates in an echo chamber of self-reference. #grammys [JR]
7:50 PM
Why does Jared Leto think he’s earned that swagger? I am consumed by a desire to beat his ass. #grammys [JR]
7:53 PM
Metallica all look like doormen at a Houston meat market bar I would never visit. #grammys [JR]
7:57 PM
Is this “Metallica Rocks?” They have descended into self-parody in the most marvelous way! Heavy Metal DORK DAD MUSIC! #grammys [JR]
8:03 PM
Steven Tyler looks like Johnny Depp was submerged in kimchee brine for a year and then baked for 12 hours at 350 degrees. #grammys [JR]
8:06 PM
I’m happy for Daft Punk for some reason. I don’t know why I’m happy for them. I don’t care about them. #grammys [JR]
8:08 PM
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis don’t have a record label, they don’t even have a manager. Just them and a few friends. #grammys [JR]
8:11 PM
Just as a music-business story alone, he and Ryan Lewis hacked the world. #grammys [JR]
8:15 PM
The music business is right to celebrate the LGBT community. There is no music business without the LGBT community. #grammys [JR]
8:22 PM
The best part of the #grammys is the initiation of kids into the Showbiz guild. A handful of teens suddenly on stage with the gods. [JR]
8:24 PM
Can’t be snarky about this little commemoration of music teachers and late heroes right in the heart of the program. #grammys [JR]
8:29 PM
Billie Joe Armstrong reinvented the melody of “When Will I Be Loved” and made it worse? Back to the weirdo choices. #grammys [JR]
8:37 PM
Alicia Keys just called John Lennon “John Legend” while Yoko stood next to her. That’s my favorite moment so far. #grammys [JR]
8:39 PM
Daft Punk again, bringing a much needed (?) French repetitiveness to American pop. #grammys [JR]
8:43 PM
Ok, NIN, QOTSA, Grohl and Lindsey Buckingham together. This is something I never even knew I wanted! Let Josh Homme be in charge! #grammys [JR]
8:45 PM
Oh man, they’re playing end-of-show ads and credits over the Reznor/Homme/Grohl/Buckingham supergroup! HILARIOUS! #grammys [JR]
8:48 PM
Thanks @the_talkhouse for having me live-tweet the Grammys! And thanks to all of you! I’m @johnroderick signing off! #grammys [JR]
