“Get out of your head, Shab, and stop being so apathetic!” I would tell my younger self.
I wrote "Too Dark" in a time when I was stuck in my head. It’s where most of the songs off our first album, R.I.P. Apathy, came from. I had just moved back home to my parent’s house for the second time, 25 miles away from my social life. Because I don’t drive, I felt stuck physically and emotionally in all kinds of ways. I was 26, never really had a direction I was working towards, didn’t know what I wanted from life, and felt like I had just spent the past few years since college goofing around instead of working towards something real.
After Blushh went on its first tour in the fall of 2018 though, everything flipped on its head. I had never felt more energized or sure about anything before. Adrenaline and excitement made a light bulb explode somewhere inside me and for the first time in my life, I had something to work towards! Something to care about! Playing music that I wrote in my bedroom for people in different places, making connections and building community along the way? It still fills me up with an adrenaline I had never felt before that first tour, and it’s a feeling I can’t ignore.
I’ve always known I’m a late bloomer. I spent all my life until I was 22 just going through the motions of school and so on, blending into whatever space I was in, not really making an effort to be my own person.
This album is a reminder to myself that I have somethings to give a shit about. That I am happier when I get out of my head and focus on the work in front of me, the community around me, and the waves we can make when we come together.
— Shab Ferdowski
